Travel

Yesterday's writing prompt was for delayed action. The question is up on a Post-it. I'm thinking about it.

Today's prompt is about where I'd most like to travel, and what I am doing to get there.

I would most like to go to Vietnam. I've always been attracted to what we used to call the Orient. I like how different it is -- civilized and yet holding different mindsets. I like the art, the look of the people, what I've heard about the lifestyle and the philosophy.

Vietnam in particular began to capture my attention when I found my first Vietnamese restaurant in Portland, Oregon. Vietnamese swiftly became my favorite cuisine: fresh, full of vegetables, wonderfully seasoned. I enjoyed getting to know the waitress there, stumbled a little over cultural differences, and still felt she regarded me kindly.

My interest in travelling there increased when a friend went to Vietnam to adopt a little girl. She came home with child and photos and stories, all of which I found beautiful and intriguing.

Then there is the tender place that comes from our country's trials and failure there. Vietnam tested us as a nation. How now do we become friends? Can they forgive us? Can we forgive ourselves? We have learned, I think, to honor the sacrifices of the soldiers who went there, even as we question the worth of the war. Vietnam is a ground of learning to us.

I want to see the markets and hear the cities and feel how people live in that very different climate. I want to walk along the roads, and give my respect to the temples and gardens, and taste the food and spirit. I want to listen to the country we defoliated.

As to what I'm doing to get there? I haven't done much recently. I've been engaged in other projects, building a new business, supporting Doug in a major career change. My thought has been that we will go through these years of transition, and have stable schedules and income again, and then we will travel again.

That does put my travel off for some time.

Strong Belief

Today's Trust 30 prompt asks about a strong belief that you _don't_ share with your closest friends and family. I'm going to ignore that last bit. I share all my strongest beliefs with Doug.

I believe that we can build a future worth living in. I believe that humans can continue to explore, build, learn, and play, indefinitely, while keeping our world healthy.

I write and coach in support of this belief. What else is there to do?

Today

Today's writing prompt is to describe today in one sentence. Here it is:

Today I faced the future and took one step.

May it be that this will describe all of my days!

Anna

Yes, I'll play!

I'm intrigued and excited by the Trust 30 challenge -- 30 days of writing, starting from daily writing prompts. I'm not entirely sure what's going to happen here. I look forward to the exploration.

Interested in learning more? Check this out:



Day 1 prompt for today: You have 15 minutes to live. Set a timer for 15 minutes and tell the story that needs to be told.

Starting Fanurio. 15 minutes, check. Here I go!

The most important thing I have to tell anyone is that you are more than you believe. That's literal -- those things that you believe about yourself are self-created limits. Believe you aren't creative? You've just built a fence between yourself and creativity. Believe you can't find love? You've just built a wall around your heart.

Right now, our world is in crisis. It is a slow crisis, and only some of us see it. That's ok. Your neighbors are doing the best they can. I've recently had the realization that the reason the dominant mode of literature is depressed is that so many of us sense the world going off track, without finding the words to explain it or the courage to face it. I mean, what can we as individuals do about global warming? How can our bodies, so greatly optimized for wandering outside and finding food, maintain themselves in perfect health with hour after hour of sitting? How can our hearts, meant to be in connection, manage as we vastly revise the social structures our ancestors lived in?

I believe we can find answers to all of this. It's something individuals can do, one small step at a time. Start by taking off your blinders. Believe in can instead of can't. Where you feel melancholic, begin searching for the reasons. What is wrong? What now hurts your soul? What can you do about it? Take heart that even small steps make a difference. Scared about global warming? See if you can trim 10% off your driving. Or off your home energy use. It's ok to do what you feel you can.

Or maybe such a small challenge as 10% conservation bores you. Then make a big one! Take on placing windmills in every backyard in your county or solar panels on every rooftop. Look for the projects that excite you. The sweet spot for living as a human is to take on the challenges that are big enough to excite you without being so big they overwhelm you. Take time to listen to yourself every day and find your sweet spot. Live in it. Luxuriate in it! We are capable of so much.

Right now, you may be consuming much that gives temporary relief and yet doesn't touch that underlying melancholy. This is a huge clue that you have been sold. To take again and again what distracts and momentarily calms -- whether that is sex, gambling, new shoes, alcohol, overeating, conspicuous consumption, other drugs, entertainment, even travel, exercise, health care, deodorant and more, many things that are useful in small quantities or with the right attitude becoming wrong when overdone or done compulsively -- to medicate oneself with anything that is not touching the real cause of discontent, that is addiction. We are societally addicted to so many things. Reach inside for the true recognition of the true problem. Solve that, and these things will fall away, step by step.

We need you. We need your truth and your freedom and your health and your happiness.

Best wishes,
Anna Paradox.

Yes, that was 15 minutes.

My score

How did I do on my game?

At this point, it looks like I overshot by one cucumber and a heart of romaine. Not bad! Probably would have been right on target if I hadn't caught cold and only wanted hot food.

We don't stress much about travelling. Doug and I follow Rick Steves' packing methods and fill our bags in only half an hour or so. The Christmas gifts are already gathered together, the housesitter has the keys, and I probably will skip vacuuming before we leave. All easy enough.

Have a very merry Christmas or a happy holiday of your choice!

Anna

Using up Food

We are in the countdown period to our Christmas travel. One of the actions I take to prepare for travel, as a frugal householder, is to eat down our supply of perishable foods.

It creates an interesting challenge. How do we continue to eat well with this extra constraint? How can I use the possibly mismatched items in the fridge to create attractive and balanced meals? How can I ensure we'll finish out the period before travel at the same time as we finish off the perishables?

All in all, it adds a little more fun to cooking to be playing the game of resource management at the same time. At least, for an economically-minded strategic gamer like me.

Adding to the challenge is our ever-growing preference for fresh local foods. These are exactly the kinds of foods most likely to spoil if we leave them behind. So relying on storage foods for our last day or two would be a suboptimal solution. Eating out is also suboptimal this year, although in past years, it has been a pleasant addition to the strategy.

So, here's the game: Empty the fridge in such a way to finish off the veg and fruit the day before we fly. Extra points for especially tasty meals. Buying more before we go incurs no penalty. Leaving produce to spoil or throwing it away does cost points. Extra points also for using items from the pantry in creative ways.

Wonder how high I can score?

Anna

Thinking about Change

Yesterday I read something in the Fifth Discipline Fieldbook that, once I decoded it, helped a lot of other pieces fit together.

Here's the idea in a nutshell: Deep change only lasts when it has three supports. Those three supports are changed ideas, changed actions, and changed systems.

Let's apply this to something concrete. Lots of people go on diets hoping to change their weight. They change the way they eat (their actions) for a period, then stop, and regain the weight. In other words, they continued to think about food the same way. They probably continued to have the same food systems -- ways of shopping, time and planning of meals, who they ate with, etc. So, when the change in actions stopped, the thoughts and the systems took them back to where they used to be.

If this theory holds, then lasting change would come from not only changing what they ate, but also changing what they thought and the systems they have for obtaining food. Here's what a three-pronged change on food might look like:

Thoughts
Before: Food is my comfort and my enemy. After: Food is fuel that I take in enjoyable moderation.

Actions
Before: Eating high fat comfort foods when stressed. After: Eating quality fresh foods lightly when hungry.

Systems
Before: Ignoring food until hungry and then grabbing whatever's easiest. After: Planning meals in advance to sustain health.

I'm a thinker. I have used the coach tools a lot to help people change their thinking. I've been wondering if I can do more to help change actions and systems. That will probably take more support over time.

To change actions and systems sounds complicated. Yet, it happens just one step at a time. And, in the end, the new actions and systems are as easy or easier than the old ones. It is the transition that has a cost.

I like this model of change. I'll be looking for ways to put it into action and help other people put it into action, too.

May you easily move to the thoughts, actions, and systems that support you. May you ask for help when you need it.

Best wishes,
Anna

Earth Day Grace

I would like to give this away.

I have a small women's mastermind group. We end each weekly meeting with a spiritual practice, and take turns setting it up. We leave the definition of spiritual consciously inclusive. Last month, it was my turn, and I asked their help completing a grace to say before meals. I didn't realize we wrote it on Earth Day until later!

So here it is. It's free for all to use without restriction.

Earth Day Grace

Holy, holy, holy.
Holy are we, and holy is the earth on which we walk.
Wholly we live in harmony, giving and receiving.
For the giving and the gift, we give thanks.

That covers it! Just four lines to evoke the meanings and attitudes I wanted to cover in a spiritual grace of no particular tradition.

There are options: I sometimes say "I give thanks" when I want to take more personal responsibility for it. And if I'm feeling more petitionary than assertionary, I say "Wholly may we live in harmony, giving and receiving..."

May you and your food be blessed by this!

Anna

Contributions

I recently worked on the Shelters International website, shelters4all.com. I was very happy to have this project fall into my lap. These folks are doing some good work. It's great to see an innovative, low-cost, and environmentally-friendly solution for housing. The shelters they offer could improve the lives of a lot of people. They also are part of a system that helps restore economies and ecologies. It's a win on every level.

It happened very fast. One day, I had a call from a sister Martha Beck coach. They needed someone who could write, and knew me through the Martha Beck coach forums. I was happy to lend a hand, and we went right to work on improving their website and brochure.

Part of their secret, I think, is that they are willing to act before getting everything right. Although their marketing strategy isn't complete, and they'd still like to improve their materials, and there's a hundred other things they could do before beginning to connect people to homes, they are driving right for the final benefit.

There's a lot to be learned from that. It really is so much better to act than to wait for perfection.

Anyway, I'm glad I was able to contribute. Please do take a look at their website and see the exciting ability they have to put people in homes in new ways. This kind of thing gives me hope for the future. www.shelters4all.com

Fermented Foods

So, I was seeking more kim chee information, and I stumbled into an entire world of fermented foods.

It really tickles me when sudden new vistas of knowledge open up like that. It's as if there are hidden openings into spacious new plains tucked into the corridors of my life. It's pretty cool. (Or worlds in wardrobes. Yeah, I read C.S. Lewis at an impressionable age, too.)

I have not yet had a chance to read Wild Fermentation: The Flavor, Nutrition, and Craft of Live-Culture Foods or Nourishing Traditions: The Cookbook that Challenges Politically Correct Nutrition and the Diet Dictocrats -- and I may not -- but I am charmed that they exist.

What better antidote to excessive fear about germs in food than to deliberately cultivate some?

So there are my Amazon affiliate links, if you want to be entertained by another diversity in food theory. I was.

If you prefer to stick to a simple outline, Michael Pollan has you covered. In seven words: "Eat food. Mostly Plants. Not too much." Or in his somewhat expanded, simple and clear, slim and well-organized book Food Rules -- which covers what you need for $5.

We used to enjoy the little tray of pickles that came with our meal's at Nicholas' Restaurant in Portland. Thinking back, I bet those were naturally fermented rather than brined in vinegar. At first they seemed strange and sour, and they also seemed to meet a need for me.

I bet they were alive!

Anna

Making Peace with Microbes

I heard about Pasteur at far too an impressionable an age. It's been quite a struggle for me to accept that I am constantly in a field of living organisms too small too see. I can be a little fussy about how I wash dishes and trying to sleep outdoors, and stuff like that.

We were never meant to live in a completely sterile environment. We need bacterial help to digest our food, for gosh sakes, and I wouldn't be surprised if our skin is actually healthier when well-colonized. As long as it is the right set of microorganisms, I suppose.

Over the past few years, we've found that kids who grow up in less sterile environments develop fewer allergies. A little exposure to the normal microbes of soil is good for the immune system. We've found that acidophilus improves the function of our gut, and eating fermented foods supplies useful nutrients. The raw food enthusiasts talk mainly about enzymes, which sound nice and sterile -- my guess is that live micro-organisms also contribute to the benefits of that diet. Would we really want to give up risen breads and beer and wine and cheese and yogurt and kim chee and sauerkraut? OK, maybe sauerkraut.

On the other side of the spectrum, our efforts to create sterile environments have created dangerously infectuous disease organisms, like MERSA. That stuff is scary. We've incidentally encouraged anti-biotic resistant tuberculosis, too. For that matter, the widespread use of antibiotics to raise beef is probably a link in recent outbreaks of e. coli and other dangerous contaminants in food products.

It's a mess. And where did it start? With the mistaken assumption that microbes were harmful and best destroyed. It started with us going to war.

My particular efforts at making peace with micro-organisms have started with kim chee. From our first modest experiments with making Korean-style fermented cabbage at home, kim chee has grown to become one of our staples. I make another batch whenever we run out.

Kim chee demonstrates that the environment we live is in alive. I don't add the culture. The Chinese cabbage fizzes after a day or two, anyway. And it is good.

I still want my house to be clean. And I am slowly shifting my focus from a war against an invisible, omnipresent enemy, to creating a healthful, living environment.

Doesn't that feel better?

Reading Restores Me

I added "Read three times" to my weekly practices for this year. I'm seeing a lot of benefit from that. I'm enjoying seeing my stack of unread books shrink. I'm learning new things. I have had an easier time finding books to review for my newsletter, Creating Space. And I am gradually feeling more rested.

Reading restores me. I've always loved it. Somehow, in the months -- or years? -- before I added it to my weekly practices again, I had lost the habit of taking time to read. I would read for work, and I'd read a few select authors whenever they brought out a new book. I was hardly ever expanding my circle of authors or taking a chance on a risky book. Somehow, I started thinking of reading as frivolous and not taking the time to do it.

It has been a huge relief to make reading a practice and begin doing it regularly. It's like I didn't know I was cutting myself off from oxygen. It was a mistake to think of reading as a low-priority use of my time. I remember exactly who told me "You need to do something, not just read." They were wrong.

At least for me, reading counts as doing something. Quite possibly, for them, reading wasn't nourishing. For me, it's like water in the desert.

What activity nourishes you? Have you been making time for it? I wish you the knowledge of what you need and the joy of doing it.

Anna

A Happy Thought

I've been spending a fair amount of time lately playing Kingdom of Loathing. It's my reward to myself after a good morning's or good afternoon's work.

Of course, sometimes it's my way of avoiding a bit of unpleasant work. I do have my quirks and foibles.

Anyway, this morning as I left the grocery store parking lot, I was planning a piece of Kingdom of Loathing tactics. If I did this first, then did that second, that would let me do this other thing, and then I could do something really rather nifty!

Then I had the thought: what if life is actually easier than my games? What if these games are a way of keeping myself sharp, to a degree that my daily activities don't actually require?

This made me very happy.

First, I'd recently been thinking that I wished it was as easy to earn money in real life as in the game. What if I'd been implying a falsehood to myself, and it is actually easier to earn money in real life? As soon as I thought that, I realized it must be true. It is actually easier to earn money in real life than in the game.

Second, if I've been mistake about life being hard, hurrah! Life could be easy! That rocks!

Third, I'm actually very good at games. And with that one change of perspective, I could see that I'm pretty good at life, too. I have just been a little confused by the wide variety of choices available. That's ok -- more choices mean more ways to succeed. So, if I can refine my goals down to limited fields like games, I can find a way to win at those goals, too.

All in all, I suddenly felt quite optimistic, resourceful, and powerful. Now, it's time to discover/define some good games and PLAY them.

Best wishes to all,
Anna

Another Beautiful Day in Las Cruces

We had rain yesterday, and today it is clear and mild. A few days ago, there was snow on the Organ mountains. We are coming up on four years in Las Cruces, and still the mountains present new faces to me. The light and shadows bring out the depths of the crags or flatten them. They reflect the colors of the sunset, or clouds wrap their tips. They are always beautiful.

Las Cruces agrees with us. The one challenge -- finding really good vegetables -- has been abundantly satisfied since we joined a CSA. Last year we were in Mysterious Horizons, and when Farmer Jeff didn't continue, we joined Farmer Monte in Los Poblanos. This is such an indulgent way to eat. Look at all the benefits one box of fruit and veg brings me every week:

More flavor
More health
Less time shopping
More adventure
Support local farmers
Organic food, so no pesticides, herbicides, or petrochemical fertilizers released into soil
Better soil
Reduced carbon impact by eating locally
Connection to my community

I've been feeling much more connected here than I ever did in Bend. I know who's growing my food. I contribute to Synergy network and to my own mastermind group of local women entrepreneurs. I visit my libraries and have attended local government meetings. The university is close, and approachable. And I do my work.

Still, with all of this, we will leave Las Cruces if we must. If our business or family required it, we could go.

Grinding

Grinding is what poker players call it when they play steady, small edge poker, to make a small profit over time. Do you hear how harsh they think it is? Just imagine pressing yourself against a coarse, rolling millstone, hour after hour. It takes immense discipline to keep playing well through luck's variations. Good play pays in the long run, yet in the short term, when your good play doesn't work out, and your neighbor's bad play takes the pot, the temptation to stray from statistically proper strategy can easily throw you off course. Playing well requires constant vigilance. They call it grinding, and make it sound like flaying your skin off on a long-term basis.

Of course, they're poker players. They mislead for a living.

Right now, if you're unemployed or under-employed, if someone offered you a steady wage of $20/hour for sitting down, paying attention, and being extremely disciplined, would you consider that equivalent to having your nose sanded?

I'm betting not. Of course, if you've ever broken a diet, you might not have the discipline to play that kind of poker.

As best I can tell, building a business is like that, too. Steady steps in the right direction pay off -- although days or weeks can go by when it seems they won't. Discipline eventually creates wealth. Persistence pays.

Why call it grinding? Can you take steady steps and enjoy them? Could you play every day at creating your heart's desire? What if you built your momentum by spending a bit of every day doing what you like best?

What would you call it then?

All I Want to Do

Hello, everyone!

My last year felt much like it was absorbed in the Martha Beck Coaches book project. It was on Dec. 9th, 2008, that I proposed on the Martha Beck coach forums that we try putting together a book. On Dec. 1st, 2009, after a year of writing, editing, and co-ordinating, we released Changes of the Heart. Our launch did well: we reached #29 on the Amazon Self-Help bestseller list. Better yet, the people who read it keep coming back to me to tell me how good it is. This is very gratifying to an editor's heart. One of the first commitments we made about the book is that our aim would be to help our readers. It's wonderful, after a year's labor, to have the fruit come in and see that it is good. Yes, we are helping people.

The project did take a lot out of me. I am still feeling depleted. Like many new projects, it turned out to be quite a bit bigger than I expected. There were some hurdles which I think I can reduce if I do it again.

In the meantime, ever since I completed the project, I've been finding myself thinking "All I want to do is read and write." At first, I didn't listen to this thought. I was like, "Oh, Anna, yes you're tired, and I'll fit a little more reading and writing in. But really, I need to figure out what my next project is and keep working on my business." And then my inner voice was like, "All I want to do is read and write." And I was like, "C'mon, we have to be responsible here! There's work to be done! I can't just take off weeks or months at a time and do nothing but read and write." And my inner voice was like, "All I want to do is read and write." And weeks passed, and I was still tired and not able to do as much as I usually can, and still confused about what my next project should be, and my inner voice is still going, "All I want to do is read and write."

Finally, I talked this out with one of my coaches. Who was able to point out that if I was coaching someone, and all they wanted to do was read and write, I'd recommend they read and write. Plus which, I can actually carry out my business by reading and writing.

Oh, yeah. Right. OK, I'll read and write. I feel less tired already.

Have I mentioned recently that it really rocks to have a good coach?

I did do some theme reading over the Christmas break. I read five books about food systems. They were: Wendell Berry's Bringing it to the Table, Mark Bittman's Food Matters, and The Omnivore's Dilemma, Food Rules, and In Defense of Food, all by Michael Pollan. They all have their virtues. I'd say the most well-rounded and readable one is The Omnivore's Dilemma. It's solidly researched and beautifully written. Food Rules is great for a fast reference. It offers more details and tactics for following Michael Pollan's beautiful distillation of how to eat well (both for health and pleasure):

"Eat food. Mostly plants. Not too much."

In the spirit of eating food, I'd like to offer this dressing recipe. This recipe contains only food, by Michael Pollan's definition. It's a fast way to make a salad more exciting.

Mustard Orange Dressing

1/4 c orange juice (about half an orange, squeezed)
1/2 c olive oil (you wouldn't use a junky one, would you? :-) )
3 T Dijon-style mustard (I like TJ's)
3 cloves garlic, chopped fine
a pinch of salt (sea salt, yes?)

Put all the ingredients in a bowl and whisk together. (Or, for smoother dressing, blend.)

OK, now this is great, simply drizzled over greens. But if you want to step it up, try this:

Make a salad of mixed greens. Place it on individual salad plates. Slice up one apple or pear into thin, bite-sized pieces. Toss the sliced fruit with a tablespoon of dressing, then scatter the pieces attractively over the top of the individual salads. Possibly scatter nuts or bits of bacon the same way, too. Drizzle a touch more dressing over the top and serve. (Or, family style, put the remaining dressing in a carafe, and pass it for everyone to add to their own taste.)

There you go!

Eat well,
Anna

I, for one, welcome our new Vegan cupcake masters.

Hello, everyone!

Last Friday, I held a second Demarle party. We had good company show up there. It's a pretty entertaining way to spend an evening.

My bakeware had come ten days earlier on a Tuesday night. In that time, I made four recipes from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World, plus four batches of cornmeal muffins. Not a bad production! Fortunately, I found people to give away a lot of the baked goods.

I was having too much fun. I made Agave Nectar cupcakes, Chai Latte cupcakes, Basic Vanilla and Basic Chocolate cupcakes. My favorites were the Chai Latte cupcakes. Doug preferred the Basic Chocolate. Since cocoa powder replaces one-third of the flour in that recipe, they may even be a better choice for him. So, that's all good.

I'm planning to make the Rose Water and Pistachio cupcakes and the Rum Raisin cupcakes soon. I'm scheming to find some Matcha -- Japanese green tea powder -- so that I can make the Green Tea cupcakes.

In the meantime, having discovered that I needed a break from editing, and that my muffin tin and cooking utensils were conveniently clean, I'm now baking cupcakes from a mix even as I type. This also is bold new territory for me. I don't believe I have ever bought a cake mix before, much less baked one. But, I have new cookware, and they were having a sale at the cake mix store. So here I am.

The four batches of cornmeal muffins happened like this: I needed two batches to perfect the recipe, and then made two batches so I could feed the guests at my party abundantly. Mmmm, this is a complete experience of living richly. I can promise you that no one left my party hungry.

Almost time to stick a toothpick in today's cupcakes!

May you all live well.

Anna

Seventy-five Dozen Cupcakes

I've been wondering what I'd do with 'em.

The Demarle party left me with a fascination for cupcakes. Sue made a cake in one of the Demarle pans -- it was lovely. Light, moist, beautifully browned -- it was remarkably good, the best cake I've had in a long time. I picked up a muffin tray and a charlotte tray -- originally with the admirable intention of making low-fat individual crustless quiches with them, hereafter referred to as timbales -- but that cake! What if I actually made some cupcakes!

It didn't help that I've been reading Veganomicon, and it has been making me very happy. The combination of attitude and solid vegan comfort food -- they really do seem to hit the mark of "the dishes you wish you'd grown up with" -- absolutely nourished my vegetable-seeking heart. Then there's all these desserts in the back! Including some amazing-looking cupcake recipes! So how could I not go out and borrow their previous volume, Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World?! Especially when it was just sitting there on the shelves of my friendly local library?

So, now I've read Vegan Cupcakes cover to cover -- about 40 main recipes, with variations carrying the total to at least 75 -- and I plan to try at least a couple when my Demarle order arrives.

I think I can take some to the networking group. My new mastermind group could try a few. Still, seventy-five dozen -- what I'd have if I tried every recipe in the book -- is rather a lot. Especially since we've basically been living a flour and sugar free lifestyle since Doug developed diabetes. It was just a couple months ago when our neighbor tried to borrow a cup of flour, and I had to admit I didn't have any.

So, who knows what this fascination with cupcakes is about.

Here is a vegetarian but not vegan recipe for fast timbales -- more appropriate for a low glycemic lifestyle. Than cupcakes. I made this in my friend Sue's charlotte tray the morning after the Demarle party.

Fast Timbales

3 cloves garlic
1 zucchini
1 carrot
6 eggs
2 tablespoons cream, optional
Salt, pepper, and oregano to taste -- approximately pinch each of salt and pepper, 1/2 teaspoon oregano

Press the garlic cloves into a medium bowl. Grate the zucchini and carrot on top of the garlic. In another medium bowl, beat the 6 eggs with the seasonings and cream, if using. Fold the vegetables into the eggs, then pour into charlotte or muffin trays, filling each form no more than 3/4s full. (If there are any empty spaces, put a little water in them for more even baking.) Bake until lightly brown on top, and a toothpick inserted into a timbale comes out clean -- approximately 20 minutes, depending on the size of the individual timbales.

These puffed beautifully, and were nicely brown underneath, when made in Sue's charlotte tray. Plus, of course, since it was Demarle, they popped right out of the forms, no oiling, no spraying, no flour. I liked the fluted round shapes of the charlotte tray very much for this -- I felt surprisingly gourmet with no extra effort.

Well, maybe I can find someone who is having a bake sale. I really do want to try making some cupcakes. My muffin tray and all are scheduled to arrive on Tuesday. I have recipes, and I bought ingredients -- baking ingredients are remarkably economical.

This is one of those times when having a family of six, like I did when I was growing up, would be more convenient than having a family of two. The math is just better for dividing a dozen cupcakes between six farm workers than two knowledge workers.

Seventy-five dozen cupcakes will likely be too much. I'll make a couple recipes of a dozen each, and see where I go from there.

I wish you indulgent and happy food.

Anna

Demarle Party Saturday Jan. 31st at 11:32 am

Hi, folks!

Well, I'm making my first try at having a cookware party. Here's the flyer I handed out:

Bakeware Party

January 31st at 11:32 am

See what absolutely non-stick cookware can do!

What if muffins popped right out of the pan? What if cleaning up after roasting vegetables was a snap? What if even eggs wouldn’t stick?

Come see a demo of Demarle bakeware. Come hungry, and eat the results! Demarle makes everyday and fancy shapes, both large pans, and trays of small shapes. Check out the fun, new possibilities. Even bring a friend!

Come to the home of Anna Paradox, at 2100 Thomas Dr. Please RSVP to 522-5358. I want to feed you abundantly!

I'm really intrigued with the possibilities. My friend Sue started representing Demarle a while ago -- food really pops right out of the little shapes. No oil, no muffin papers. Very neat, and very easy to clean. At first I thought I wouldn't hold a party, because I wasn't sure who'd I invite and I've never done this before. And then I started being intrigued with the possibilities. I could make individual quiches, with no crust, putting just the ingredients each person wanted in theirs, and baking them. I could roast vegetables without using a disposable pan liner. I could make fancy-shaped desserts and show off. It really sounded fun to play with the new possibilities. Ice cream shapes, I bet I could make non-dairy ice creams shapes in them. All sorts of things.

And I do like to eat, and see new things. So, I changed my mind, and scheduled a party. Sue and I will make lots of food. She'll demonstrate the bakeware so you can see how it works. That does sound like fun, doesn't it!

If you think it would be fun, too, please come! Just call so I can plan, thanks.

And if you can't come, but you want to try the bakeware on your own, you can order from www.DemarleAtHome.com. Do Sue a favor, and put in her rep code when you do -- 7187.

Or email her with what you'd like, and she'll take care of you: easycooking@comcast.net

She'll work with you if you want to have a party any where in New Mexico, too.

So that's what I'll be up to this Saturday -- making and eating food with friends! I am really looking forward to it.

Anna

New Blogs!

Hello, everyone!

I've created two new blogs to hold my business posts. www.creatingspace.annaparadox.com now contains all of my Creating Space newsletters. I even broke the entries into categories so that you can look at just the Book Reviews or Small Steps portions of the newsletters if you wish.

(When I say I broke the entries into categories, I actually mean I hired Joe Rossow of Rossow Futuristics here in Las Cruces to do it for me. He did a great job archiving the entries and touching up the banners. It's a task that I've been meaning to get to for months, and now it is beautifully done! I'm very happy with the results.)

I've also made a place where I will write new posts strictly focused on writing. The first official post will arrive on September 23rd. There's already a bit to do and look at at www.BridgeOfWords.com.

Please check them out! And I'd be very happy if you would link to them or leave comments.

Thanks for dropping by!

Anna

We Can't Know

A few days ago, I received a request from a friend to blog about invisible illness. It wasn't a term I knew, so I asked her for more information.

Recently people with health challenges that are less obvious than wheelchairs or seeing-eye dogs have begun networking. One of their challenges is that, because they don't look ill, they may receive glares when parking in disabled spaces, or have people not understand when a sudden migraine or flare up of chronic illness or other disability stops them from doing things. To help gain support, they are having an Invisible Illness Awareness Week. As part of that week, my friend asked all her friends who blog to write about invisible illness this week.

I still don't feel I know too much about this. There is a lot of information available at http://invisibleillness.wordpress.com/

For my part, I'm glad to have the reminder to practice compassion. Yes, I may not know why someone has a disabled tag or cancels an appointment at the last minute. But I can give them the benefit of a doubt.

And doesn't it feel better to offer them compassion than to surge with anger?

Anna

Leisure

Hello, everyone!

I'm practicing taking weekends off. It has been a very good practice for me. Plus, I get to play with concepts like "What is off?" and "What do I do when I'm doing things just for me?" and "What am I trying to avoid by staying so busy?" Lol. I suspect that for many people, such questions feel more like work than play. I enjoy them. That may be why I ended up a coach.

Cooking is my new hobby. I've cooked in varying amounts for a long time, of course. (My story of a conversation when I was ten: Mom said, "Anna, cook that roast for dinner." I said, "But I don't know how!" She said, "Yes, you do, just do it." "But wait -- how long do I cook it? What temperature? When do I add the vegetables?" Then she answered those, and I cooked it.) After I read Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, I arranged to get meat from a local, free-range, grass-fed ranch, and I found a farm that would let me get a weekly vegetable subscription in the Community Supported Agriculture model. It's local and organic -- very cool. The food has been really good. The meat arrived Wednesday, and we've tried two cuts, both very good. My first vegetable share I picked up on Thursday. Agriculture, of course, is slightly unpredictable. I love that about it! The challenge of figuring out to how to use what comes has been making cooking more fun for me. The meat available immediately was an entire lamb, properly butchered and frozen, of course. The vegetable share included probably more eggplant than I had prepared in my life. So, I spent a pleasant time reading eggplant recipes and lamb recipes. Also, I received a lot of hot peppers, some tomatoes, one pattypan squash, one beet, some chard, and a bunch each of basil and lavender. I feel very lucky that he could add a subscriber mid-season -- usually in this business model, you can only join at the beginning of the year. The food has been fabulous.

Eating great food is on my vision board. Looking at it this morning, I'm getting good coverage of what I wanted. I've added a circle of female friends, I'm taking time to read, my name is on the cover of books, I've made it to several of the vacation destinations I pictured. Doug is working on his electric car, so driving an electric car is coming along well. That covers well over half the surface of my vision board. Very cool!

Looking at the vision board is part of my morning routine. Since I read Steering by Starlight, I've been using Martha Beck's suggestion most of the time, and it seems to be working. That is, I look it over, appreciating what's on there, and then say, "Thank you. I quit."

So, life is going well. I'm looking forward to doing the teleseminar on Tuesday, and to working with my clients next week. Today, I'll spend some time on my new hobby.

All the best to all of you,
Anna

Somewhere along the way I lost the anger

Fifteen or twenty years ago, I was captivated by Bob Kanefsky's song Creature in the Wood. I patiently replayed the tape, learning the tune in the slow way my ear requires, copying out the lyrics, and I sang it often, with much gusto, for several years.

Part of it was the expressiveness of Heather Alexander's performance of it. So rich and nuanced! Very beautiful. She performed the parody of her own song, Creature of the Wood, full out, with the good will typical of the filk community. The melody was lyrical, strong, comfortably in my range, and in a minor key as I still tend to prefer. The words were smart -- an entire story with emotion and surprise.

And, I admit it, the story of a tree that seduced and eventually ate men, made me feel strong.

That was anger. I had hit situations where I was treated like I counted less because I was female. I had found doors that were closed to me, or at least weighted and padlocked, because I was born an innie instead of an outie. I'd seen salesmen's eyes pass right over me to address Doug if I asked a question when we were together. I didn't yell at anyone, or punch anyone. I did vote for women's rights and speak and write in acceptable (yes, I hear the irony) forums. And I sang this song, and a number of other angry songs. Mostly when I was alone, and I took joy in them.

As I wrote last entry, I recently listened to some songs from that time. That led to me browsing Bob Kanefsky's lyrics this morning. They are now online, and you can read Creature in the Wood here.

I found it uncompelling. It's not just that it was written instead of sung. I'm still finding Zombies Robbing the Grave compelling, and I could sing it myself if I wanted to. But the cruelty doesn't work for me any more. It feels sad instead of strong.

Somewhere along the way I stopped being mad at men.

Times do change. I've been happily monogamous with my beloved Doug for twenty-two years now. Heather Alexander has been succeeded by Alexander James Adams. I've spent some years working on my personal situation, and I'm more concerned about people than about women these days. There are still some inequalities. There has been a lot of progress. And I simply don't have the anger any more. (At least not about that. There are still some causes that hit my buttons, and alert readers probably know what they are.)

A few weeks ago, I found myself describing the platform of an organization to advance women in business as "so 90's". Yesterday, when offered a chance to join a coaching organization dedicated to bringing affordable coaching to all women in North America and eventually the world, I found myself with very mixed feelings. I like coaching men. They've treated me well and paid me well and been enjoyable to work with.

I like coaching women, too. Now I find it hard to think of the differences between us as more important than the similarities.

There are a lot of lines of thought I could follow from this. I think this is the critical one. If the work I did on myself could bring me to peace with men, could bringing such work to everyone bring peace between other groups now in conflict? Would this kind of education not be more effective and less expensive than guns and armies?

Anna

Songs like old friends

Today I put my first novel up for free download over at my other website. If you're interested, you can pick it up at www.annaparadox.com/my-writing. For the moment, that page is very basic. It will serve the needs of the moment.

Space Pirates, an anthology that contains my third sf sale, will soon be available. In my bio, I offered The Cracked Bell to readers. So I'm setting it in place just in time.

The Cracked Bell is set in a world where music can do magic. After a couple days of working through it, making a few small corrections, I had a strong urge to listen to some filk tapes. I was surprised, when I dug them out, to discover that they were largely fifteen to twenty years old. My goodness! It doesn't seem that long ago that I was staying up late at night, listening to Leslie Fish and Cecilia Eng in the song circles of Portland science fiction conventions. Apparently more time has passed than I thought.

The sound is distant. Maybe that is how tapes age -- becoming less and less audible over time. Or maybe the tape player is malfunctioning -- I haven't used it recently. We play most of our music via iTunes now. Yet the memories are strong. Here's a song where Red Riding Hood's grandmother proves to be a werewolf -- I remember learning the chords and singing this with edgy pleasure, many times -- all the words were familiar, and yet I hadn't sung it in years.

I listened to Leslie Fish's song The Wheel. In a way, it is a Pete Seeger tribute, incorporating the phrase "Turn, turn, turn". Here's the chorus:

"There's a wheel turning on muddy ground
Gains an inch every time it goes round
Come on, let's make another revolution
Turn, turn, turn."

I copied out all the words, feeling the song was as comfortable and topical as ever.

Then I listened to Zombies Robbing the Grave -- a translation of John Varley's story Millenium into verse by Bob Kanefsky, set to music Leslie Fish wrote to accompany a Rudyard Kipling poem (Bridge Guard on the Karoo). It's almost like being at a cocktail party full of old acquaintances, and knowing this one had a relationship with that one, who then hooked up with the other. A few lines of Zombies Robbing the Grave had been coming to mind often recently:

"We grasp at this last solution -- these desperate raids on the past
From a future choked with pollution, on a world that's dying fast."

It was good to hear the whole song and set those words in context.

That old friend, too, felt all too topical.

Filk has a strong bias towards minor key and melancholic themes. Even so, I was very happy to be in the company of these songs I'd loved back when.

Anna

The Burrito Lady

The first day I trained for my brief employment, I found myself wishing there was a taco cart in the parking lot. Our breaks were short, and we were far from restaurants. I felt far too rushed driving to the nearest fast food place to purchase a lunch.

The second day, miraculously, a woman pulled up to the building in a station wagon. She had coolers full of fresh, hot burritos. They were good and inexpensive.

As long as we were in training, the whole class took our breaks together at the same time. So, she came for ten minutes only, and we could have warm, indulgent food. Once we moved to the floor, all our breaks were staggered so that the phones were always covered. I couldn't buy burritos any more. It's surprising how much that one mid-morning indulgence made the whole day feel softer.

I love the way she showed up to meet our needs. I wondered how she'd known. How did she find that entrepreneurial opportunity? One day, I asked. She said she'd been bringing burritos to the construction crew before us. Which answers one question, and still leaves a few open. What kind of network let her know about the construction crew? How can someone be ready to create burritos in bulk for such an opportunity? Did she cruise the town, looking for large groups of hungry people?

No doubt there are opportunities everywhere, to someone who has the perspective to see them.

Or maybe burritos just abhor a vacuum.

Anna

Vacation

I took Memorial weekend thoroughly off. I told people I was unavailable. I did not give my attention to keeping up with email. I even refused a leisure activity or two that did not sound like fun.

It was wonderful.

I'm going to adjust my affirmations. I've used a series of goals for my business -- it has left too little attention for the things I really enjoy. I like to have time when I can choose what to do, in the moment. I love games and conversations that do not contribute to any goal. It's more important to me to preserve flexible time than to meet a high income goal. Good to know these things.

My speech to the local association of women accountants last Thursday night went well. I like this, and I would like to do more of it. Who knew I would like speaking in front of people? First I really enjoyed being on panels at science fiction conventions. Then I was giving small presentations at the networking group. Then I gave this speech. I had a touch of nerves. Not bad. I mostly felt in my element, and I was very happy when one of the women approached to say that what I had said had really helped her. Excellent!

A few others took my card.

So, I'm not sure what comes next. The group of accountants is having me teach at their fall retreat. In the meanwhile, I don't have any other presentations set up, and I'm not sure how or where to create them. Something will come up.

Interesting times. And some vacation was just what I needed to feel energized to meet them!

May you find the balance of work and rest that energizes you.

Anna

Red Food

Today, I copied my barbecue recipe for a friend. Lots of tomatoes in there.

Then, I boiled up some beets. I sliced them and scraped away the skins, getting my left fingers noticeably pinkened.

Then, I made some red sauce. I had purchased some ready-to-prepare dried red chile, and I followed the instructions. It became thick, and bubbled and splattered. I tasted it -- a little too hot for my palate. So I added a can of tomato paste, and a little water. Tasted it, and added a little more salt.

So I've had quite the morning for red food. Don't know if it means anything.

It was fun.

Not the gifts I was expecting

Well.

I think I failed the faith test. Rereading my last post caused me to smile ruefully at myself. I took a small detour since then.

I was really getting stressed by not having enough income to cover our monthly expenses. So, I got a job. I've just worked at Convergys for six weeks, and quit yesterday.

It was an interesting experience. I admired their systems. I liked the people I worked with. The job was ATT Wireless Customer Service -- I was one of those voices on the other end of the phone when you call customer support. I was not yet very good at it, but I would have been eventually.

The real mismatch for me is that I really, really didn't like the rigid schedule. To keep wait times for customers calling in as brief as possible, a call center needs to keep as many reps available to answer the phones as possible at all times. That means scheduling breaks and lunches and time of arrival and departure to the minute. That means relatively little flexibility for days off, or choosing what time to start work.

The pay was reasonably good, especially for this area. And I wanted my freedom more than the paycheck.

So, instead of the safety net I was hoping for, I've left the job with a stronger understanding of what is really important to me. I was drained after doing the work there. I'm energized by writing, editing and coaching.

Time to go back to finding ways to do more of those.

I've had other gifts from the detour. I really did enjoy meeting my coworkers. I have a new appreciation for housework. Look! I can start and stop and take breaks whenever I want! Look! The results are entirely under my control! Look! I can actually see and touch the results of my efforts!

It's pretty cool, actually. And after six weeks of working both at Convergys and on my business, while Doug studied long hours at school, our life feels very soft now. I like that. I've been cooking a lot, and Doug and I get to eat meals together and talk. Heavenly!

Everything does work out. Convergys gave me six weeks of relief from worrying about our budget, and an interesting view into other ways of doing things. I'm thankful for the gifts, even though they were not what I expected.

And I am very thankful to let my time take its own shape again. Note to self: avoid work with strict half-hour lunch breaks.

Anna

Faith

The moment I most liked in all of the filmed Lord of the Rings trilogy was when Legolas had despaired. He was ready to give up, and Aragorn counseled him to hold -- to do the best they could as long as they could.

So they fought. And they held out long enough for help to arrive and rescue them.

And I realized why despair is a sin.

We usually think of hope as the opposite of despair. However, faith can serve as a stronger cure for despair than hope. Faith -- faith that the universe will reach out and bridge the gap between what we can do and what we need -- lets us go on when we can't see how we can prevail.

Suppose that neither despair nor faith is provable. That is, suppose we cannot know whether we will receive help when we reach the end of our abilities. What happens when we despair? We stop acting. What happens when we hold on to faith? We continue to act, as long as we can. Which of these behaviors is more likely to succeed? The one that proceeds from faith.

So we find that faith is functional, and pragmatic, when we cannot know if help is on its way. In effect, we are more likely to find the universe benevolent if we believe it to be so. Because our actions will give more chance for the universe to bring us help when we believe it will do so.

This is why one of my chief functions as a life coach is to help my clients have faith. With faith in themselves and in the universe, acting becomes easier and more effective. I also help them select the best actions to take, in the best order. And I'm there, as a safety net of ongoing support, to ward off despair when the inevitable challenges come along.

Now, I also believe in science. There are times when we can know that a path we are on will never lead to where we want to go, or will cost more than it will be worth. At those times, it does pay to accept the feedback of the universe and try a different path.

So both accepting the reality of the situation and having faith are useful strategies. It's our responsibility to learn what we can and have the faith we can, and the universe takes care of the rest.

Seth Godin has a cool book on one way to decide whether to continue when the going gets hard. It's called The Dip, and I recommend it.

Meanwhile, I find I'm more in need of faith than course correction just now. My best study of what I need to build my business suggests more effort in the same direction. There are signs what I'm doing is working, and needs refinement and more time. So on I go.

May you have the faith to continue where you need to, the insight to see where to change paths, and the wisdom to know the difference.

All the best to you,
Anna

Sailing on Momentum

I'm still traveling on the impulse of that moment of insight I captured last post. I feel launched into Terra Incognito. I do not know where all of this leads.

Meanwhile, I crafted a page at annaparadox.com/boutique-editing to talk about the service I do offer. It's my goal to offer the fullest support to writing your own book of any editor on the web. And I do have some unique advantages for that. I have advanced listening skills. I have the North Star philosophy of freeing the voice and essential self of my clients. I have the wide knowledge to work with science fiction, and the authenticity to work with personal narrative.

Your book, in your voice, your way, excellently. That's the goal.

Anna

True Value

I woke up feeling manifesto-ish. Since I started calling myself a writing coach, I've heard about a lot of people who will:

1. Strategize your book launch so that you rise to the top of a bestseller list.
2. Write your book for you, so you don't have to.
3. Do both together.

I truly believe that these actions, especially when done together, will eventually cause the value of being a "Bestseller" to plummet, and raise the resistance of readers to buying books.

In other words, if you use marketing tactics to push low quality goods, not only do the tactics become ineffective, but the perceived value of all associated goods also falls.

In short, I think this is evil.

Now, it's not necessarily evil to market something excellent. Nor is it necessarily evil to hire a ghostwriter to create a book for you. But, if someone creates a poor quality book, then creates a massive marketing campaign to make it a bestseller, then books, bestsellers, and readers all suffer. And that is evil.

For me, evil is taking actions that reduce the size of the pie for everyone. A book is a significant commitment of time for most readers. So, having been sold a bad book, the reader's time is wasted, and she becomes less willing to buy the next one. The marketing strategies that sold her that book begin to stink in her mind, tainting anything else associated with them. And when she sees that that book has become a bestseller, she discounts the value of the next bestseller.

So, I've been a bit appalled when people hear what I do and say, oh, you're like so-and-so -- who does one of the actions above. I'm apparently not getting my point across.

The fault is mine, of course. I need to let people know clearly how what I do is different.

For a start, here's a small manifesto:

The Value of Writing Authentically

1. I believe that each person is unique, and the true expression of that uniqueness is the best gift they can give to the world.

2. I believe that some people have a calling to write a book and share their experience, knowledge, wisdom, voice, and ability to entertain with the world. Yes, that includes fiction.

3. I believe that such aspiring authors gain immensely from the process of writing the book themselves. New knowledge emerges in the process. They discover themselves and learn how to speak of their topic. They gain the well-earned self-respect and prestige of being an author.

Oh, it's terribly old-fashioned of me. But I believe that doing the work yourself has value.

And creating true value makes the pie larger for everyone instead of smaller.

That is why I offer writing coaching and editing instead of ghostwriting or bestseller creation. I make the process of writing easier and more fun -- and you still do it yourself -- and I work with you to make the completed manuscripts excellent and authentically yours.

If you want the journey and the learning as well as the final product, talk to me. If you only want the final product, and you don't care if it is truly an expression of you, and you are willing to accept the credit for a low value book, as long as it sells well -- please talk to someone else.

Anna

Are the bills important when you've been hit by lightning?

I'm working through Fabienne Fredrickson's Client Attraction course. Today's assignment: see if you have a compelling story, and if so, consider adding it to your marketing materials.

This is a fun assignment. I don't know if my story is compelling. But here it is:

Doug and I had moved to New Mexico. I was taking poker coaching, and very much enjoying it. Wasn't quite sure I wanted to start playing higher limits.

I'd twice almost signed up for counseling training, and not quite done it. There was something about it that both appealed to me, and didn't feel quite right. I'd studied all the NLP books I could lay my hands on, and also trained as a hypnotist for a year. Still not quite right.

Some of the most brilliant memories of my life have been times when I could be there for someone as they made a new realization about themselves. There is nothing I've done that has had more meaning for me.

So, Doug and I and our cats had moved to a new town. We were looking for a chiropractor. We tried one, and while waiting, I picked up a copy of O. Martha had an article in there, and it mentioned her book Finding Your Own North Star. I was intrigued.

I went to the bookstore and picked up a copy. It was amazing, so exactly to where I wanted to go. I wondered if Martha had a website.

I remember sitting at the computer, feeling like I had been hit by lightning. Martha Beck teaches life coaching. Just thinking about it, I'm tingling again. That is so right.

Then I had to chase Martha down at The Crossings because my email wasn't getting through. Hey, it's only an 8 hour drive! No problem.

But that's another story.

I'm glad to have remembered that. Even though I am frustrated because my practice is not yet paying our bills, there is something real and true and important -- life coaching is a calling for me.

So, eventually, I'll be able to hear what the universe meant when it hit me with lightning.

Until then, continuing on the best I can.

Anna

Where to blog?

I now have potentially three places to blog. I'm running a minutely detailed journal of my training in business, my marketing efforts, my new realizations, and in-jokes that are funniest to sister Martha Beck coaches within the protected Martha Beck coach forum. I've started a new journal to gather my newsletters at blog.annaparadox.com -- it is not quite ready for prime time. I'm having trouble getting my banner picture to the right size.

And then there is here, my old faithful. How kind to me you have been these long years, oh blog of mine! We've been through changes together. Plenty of stories to tell.

I think it will shake out like this: my personal thoughts will continue to appear here. The Martha Beck coaches forum can enjoy seeing me at my worst. And eventually those posts most likely to match the themes of my business will appear at blog.annaparadox.com.

At the moment, those themes are space activism, science fiction, success and self-help, and writing. Mmmmm, one of these days I may need to trim that list.

Well, we'll see how it rolls along.

Yesterday, I finished the final campaign in Heroes of Might and Magic V. The campaigns in this entry in the series were imaginative and carried a good story along. I liked that.

And this evening, I watched Enchanted at the local second run theater. I enjoyed it.

Wouldn't it be a better world if more people broke out into song and dance?

Anna

Imperfection

I'm way imperfect. I've made a load of mistakes. I'm subject to bad moods, I've occasionally refused to listen to reason, and I can be incredibly stubborn.

And it was a major teaching moment for me when my coach said, "Anna, you are so, so perfect."

Oh. Because everything is. You are, I am, everything is. So, so perfect. Oh.

A couple weekends ago, I was at the OneCoach Mind, Marketing and Millions event. Jeff Stibel was talking about the secret he's employed to create multiple multi-million dollar businesses by the age of 35. I bet you'd like to know it. Would like me to tell you? Well, ok then, I will.

He fails a lot. He said someday he'd write a book, and he'd call it "Fail Your Way to Success". He said, "If you are not failing, you are not testing."

That last sentence is like a road widening before me. If I really want to find my limits, I'm going to want to fail. A lot. Frequently, repeatedly, in a wide variety of new ways, creatively, successively, reachingly, daringly and progressively.

Wow.

The first way I'm wanting to fail is to be imperfect in public. Which is perfect.

I feel a lot more blogging coming on.

Anna

Blogging in sheltered places.

Hello, everyone!

Martha Beck and her group recently created a forum only for Martha Beck Certified Coaches. (Oh, yes -- they also changed the name of our certification from North Star Certified to Martha Beck Certified. Either way, I have that certification.)

After a few weeks, I decided to start a thread that collected all the thoughts and actions I took to work on building my practice. Some angst, some whinging, a lot of small details that I expected only coaches to find interesting, some posts that assumed we shared common experience and language, some wins, some celebrations, useful tactics and more.

I've been having a great time. Writing many, many words there.

There is something interesting about writing to a select group. In a way, it's like letting my inner child play in a gated community. I have appreciated both the extra security (at times) and the shared interests.

I read through the Mark Joyner blogging course. It amuses me a bit to find so many people thinking of blogging as the new, hot thing. This blog is approaching its sixth anniversary.

There wasn't much there I didn't know. It was laid out in the usual very organized and logical fashion for a Mark Joyner product. And the daily learning format is very approachable and effective. Also, it did remind me of some things I've known but haven't applied. That's helpful.

I suggest it more for people who have never blogged, or who want to start a business blog, than for personal bloggers or blogging veterans.

Anyway, one principle of building traffic to a blog -- which this blog has always ignored -- is to focus very tightly on a single subject. It increases your visibility in search engines, and lets people who are interested in that subject know they'll find something of interest in the blogs.

I've been focusing on building a coaching practice inside my gated community. It has its points.

So, I've started the process to create another blog, attached to annaparadox.com, that will repost my twice monthly newsletters and other closely related thoughts. I'll let you know when its ready for public consumption.

Have a great month!

:-)

Anna

Trust and Mark Joyner

So, Mark Joyner has a new course on blogging. I find his Simpleology one of the most useful tools on the web, and have recommended it to a number of folks.

So, I'm going to give him a chance, by posting the following exactly as he offered it:

I'm evaluating a multi-media course on blogging from the folks at Simpleology. For a while, they're letting you snag it for free if you post about it on your blog.

It covers:

• The best blogging techniques.
• How to get traffic to your blog.
• How to turn your blog into money.

I'll let you know what I think once I've had a chance to check it out. Meanwhile, go grab yours while it's still free.

It's true! I'd say almost the same thing, if I was offering it in my own words. He's earned my trust enough for this.

Let's see what this is all about.

Anna

Experimenting with the Vitamix

Hey, folks,

Glad to say I am doing better. My work is gaining traction, and I'm no longer so pressingly impatient with the process. Sometimes a small amount of progress -- just so I can see that progress is happening -- is remarkably reassuring.

So, on to a much more interesting topic -- what I'm trying in my smoothies. I recently read that if you have a high powered blender -- in the three or four horsepower range -- you can put the avocado seed in along with the avocado. Even more, it is supposed to be very healthy! Well, that certainly saves some trouble.

So today I peeled an avocado and tossed it in the Vitamix. Also a banana, some frozen mixed fruit, several slices from a large mango. I tried to put in a pomegranate, but the pickiness of gathering the seeds out of the sections stopped being fun about one quarter of the way through. Some soy milk to improve the texture, some vitamin powder, and some greens -- mustard greens, I really never eat enough greens and surely a heaping tablespoon of them will disappear -- and I'm all set.

The color is a little greenish. Next time, some beet might be good for color. (Don't tell Doug.) And a little more chilling might be good -- next time, a bit more frozen ingredients. The flavor is great! Yeay, lunch!

I did squirt pomegranate juice onto my yellow t-shirt. That looks a little permanent. Oh, well.

Have a great day! Eat well, too!

Anna

More ups and downs

I gained some perspective and felt pretty good for a couple days there. Today again, the despair hit like a ton of molasses. It seems so hard to move. Everything is bogged down and slowed. The requests I send in for support receive slow, slow attention -- so slow that in some cases, I don't know if anyone has heard me at all.

We have run out of Kim Chee seasoning. I know four ways to order more. I can't seem to choose. Simply overwhelmed at deciding whether to buy a bulk three and a half pounds for $19.89 or 24 packets of just over an ounce each for $22, or one packet for $11.50. It's a product from Hawaii, and ordering small amounts incurs a hideous postage cost. All three prices include postage. On one hand, one packet would last me at least two months. On the other hand, the single packet price is ridiculous.

The fourth option? Ask my local supermarket to try to get it. At an uncertain price, uncertain success, and with another uncertain delay.

Bleck. I sound awful today. I knew that. Getting some words down makes it really obvious.

There are projects I'm committed to. There are steps I could take that would put me on the path to increasing my income so I wouldn't be woggled considering small financial consequences like buying the Kim Chee seasoning. I wish I had someone more to listen to me.

If I could buy my own service today, I'd get it in a heartbeat.

Anna

Really scared

So, I joined OneCoach, and started a process to play business on a larger scale than I ever have before.

It went amazingly well for the first few days. I had some great ideas for new services I could offer. I made a plan to cooperate with a member of my networking group to offer more value at a seminar he is giving soon. I was making fast progress.

And then the fear hit. Really, truly petrified. Wave after wave, almost unable to move. Critical thoughts proclaiming loudly that I don't have any right to raise my income, that my services aren't valuable, and who do I think I am, anyway?

It hurt.

I know the theory about how moving out of our comfort zones causes fear. I know several methods for reducing fear. That didn't stop the physical reality of it, my body weak and drooping, struggling to sleep, craving sugar and grease. Hard, it's so hard.

I'm even scared to write about it. People will see this and know I'm not perfect. I'm going to blow my cover and never get clients again. More fearful thoughts on every hand.

But they are just thoughts. In life coaching, we are not required to be perfect. Especially through North Star, where one of our watchwords is TAO for Transparent, Authentic, and Open. Yes, our imperfections are visible. Truth creates freedom, and the truth is that I am suffering today as I expand my horizons. I'm frightened to aim higher than I have before. It is the right kind of fear. This kind of fear is actually a sign post that I am moving in the right direction.

So, I am practicing remembering how real and physical this is. I want to understand what you are going through, if you find this fear too. And, eventually, I want to be able to let you know that I made it through.

It is very fortunate that coaching is not based on me being perfect. I don't even have to be smarter or wiser than my clients. I'm certain to know less than they do about being them. What I do provide is an outside perspective, my knowledge of coaching, and my experience of being me.

May we both reach higher ground.
Anna

A huge split test

I have two professional websites now: wingsofinfinity.com and annaparadox.com. Until recently, I had wingsofinfinity.com redirected to annaparadox.com. Then I copied most of annaparadox.com over to wingsofinfinity.com. Now they are beginning to diverge.

On the one hand, my ideal vision for my life coaching practice is to be the premiere life coach for science fiction fans in the English speaking world, and offer the best success tools to that audience in their language. On the other hand, I live in Las Cruces, and do my live networking here, and the science fiction concept met blank looks and confusion. I heard things like "But you can help so many more people than that!" and "I'm really glad I tried you, now that I know you are not weird."

Finally, I realized the best way to meet both desires was to split the way I talked about my life coach practice into two parts. Wingsofinfinity.com
is now developing as the general life coaching site to serve Las Cruces. Annaparadox.com is becoming the specialized site to serve the science fiction community.

Splitting the two will also serve as a very interesting experiment. Which will work better?

I'm having a great adventure developing my web presence and my business as a life coach. It's a lot of fun. I really enjoy the coaching and the web building.

It's all a work in progress. Meanwhile, there are some valuable success tools in my newsletter. If you haven't yet subscribed to Creating Space, take a look at the back issues at annaparadox.com/newsletter. The newsletter is my gift to the community.

After all, it is my mission to spread the best success tools to science fiction fans.

Progress

Check out Doug's blog at www.gdunge.com. He has a really great update on what we've been up to.

I've been working and reworking my business website, www.annaparadox.com. I'm looking for the words that will connect me to the people I can serve. It's surprisingly hard. I'm very happy with the recent upgrade to my graphics. Meanwhile, I have a handful of clients to serve, and that is going very well, and I'm working on a workbook to teach writers to write enjoyably whenever they want -- no more writer's block, no more fighting uphill against an internal critic.

I'm remarkably busy. It's good work.

Doug is looking forward to going back to class. He'll also be working on campus, with his workstudy grant. So everything on his schedule will be within walking distance. That's very convenient. Even though his summer job was only ten minute's drive away, the gas use and time loss add up quickly. Yes, walking takes time, too. Unlike driving, it improves his health.

And, selfishly, I will be glad to be able to run errands without the extra complication of driving him to work. An additional benefit is that he often stops at the grocery store on his way home, so I spend little time shopping during school. We'll see how it goes now that he is in class full time and working as well. With both of us putting in long hours, it will be helpful to stay conscious about saving time for each other, and keeping our stress down.

And that's the way it goes! We keep doing our work and looking out for each other!

May your alliances strengthen everyone involved.
Anna

Camino saves me time!

I recently upgraded my web browser to the latest version of Camino. Looking through the preferences for a way to turn off the spellchecker (story for another time), I found an option to block Flash.

I love this! Many websites are loading much more quickly. I don't get distracting motion in my field of vision. It saves me time and bandwidth.

For example, I had one site that sends me an email every week, inviting me to listen to the answer to a business question. Often, I'm interested in the answer. But if I went to the site, the Flash would swamp my browser. I had to walk away from the computer, go check the land mail, get a glass of water, stretch for a minute or two. Then, when I came back, maybe the audio would be ready to play, and maybe it wouldn't.

All because the site designer put a rotating question mark in the margin of the page, and chose an inelegant solution for providing the audios. Completely useless.

Now it loads at a more reasonable pace. I've listened to more of the audios, now that I don't have the hurdle of a long wait keeping me from them.

What if I want to see a piece of Flash animation? No problem! Camino puts a button where the Flash goes. I can click on it, and then the Flash plays. Always at my choice.

It's the evolution of the web, become as useful and reasonable as pop-up blockers and anti-spam email filters.

Camino is a Mac browser from the Mozilla group. We're running it very happily under Mac OS 10.3.9 If you run something else, I'm sure you can find someone who can advise you on what would work for you.

May you have great control of your virtual environment.

Monsoon Season

Las Cruces used to get most of its annual moisture in a two week 'monsoon season'. Two weeks in summer would have a lot of thunderstorms -- gully washers, even -- and that would be it. The rest of the year would be dry.

Last year, monsoon season uncharacteristically lasted twelve weeks.

It's running long this year, too. My theory is that higher temperatures lift more water out of the gulf, and higher air pressures carry it over here to dump it.

Ever since we watched An Inconvenient Truth, I've been drying most of the laundry on a rack and a couple lines in the laundry room. I like to catch the towels when they are not quite dry and tumble them a little to soften them.

Now that it's monsoon season -- the towels just stay at not quite dry. Nothing is drying that well on the rack or lines.

So, the heat create extra moisture that slows drying that tempts me to use the dryer and create more heat -- a vicious cycle.

I'll be glad when the air dries out a bit more.

The house is staying cleaner

All of a sudden, it seems we keep on top of the dishes and the vaccuuming. It's very odd, really. At some point, Doug and I both looked around and said, hey! this place looks better with the floors and counters cleared. And the habits to keep them that way just seemed to happen.

I'm glad to report that I still don't fold fitted sheets as neatly as flat sheets.

May what's important to you come with ease.

Anna

Wood tastes better than metal

Hey!

It's been a while. I have been measurably swamped. With good stuff. The life coaching business is picking up speed, and Tommy's book nears completion. I can hardly wait to be able to show it to people.

Do you know, silverware tastes wrong to me with Chinese food. So I tasted metal and I tasted wood, and wood tastes better to me. Something I probably never would have noticed if I hadn't learned to use chopsticks.

I'm sure there's something profound in there. I'm taking a day off, so I won't dig for it.

Have a great day!

Anna

Too busy?

I just sat down to make myself a to do list, and added over sixty items to it. Hmmm. Some of them are simple, like feed the cats. Some of them are entire projects in themselves, like build a Paypal shopping cart. After all, I still need to create the products that would go in the cart.

I didn't even notice Tuesday passing without a blog this week. Not until Thursday.

So it's quite possible the 'blog every Tuesday' plan has run its course. I'm not sure it still serves a purpose. I have my twice monthly newsletter, Creating Space, to connect on a regular basis. It's more structured and more focused than the blog, and in its five issue life is already receiving much more response than this blog.

So, notice is hereby served: I'm going back to posting irregularly. I'll write here when I wish to. When this is the best forum for my passing thoughts, or when inspiration strikes.

The newsletter, for more regular communications, is available at annaparadox.com/newsletter.

I continue to wish you all the best.

Anna

The best way

My rose bushes are a bit rangy.

So I'm very fortunate that they are also in full bloom.

I took the traditional dozen buds -- and they even had decent length stems -- and placed them in a vase.

Ah.

P.S. In other good news, the spaceport measure has unofficially passed by about 240 votes.

A Squeaker

As of this morning, the Dona Ana county bond measure to build the spaceport in southern New Mexico is passing by a margin of 204 votes. All regular votes have been counted, although the results will not be official for another week. 541 provisional votes -- cast by citizens whose voting eligibility could not immediately be confirmed -- remain to be canvassed and counted.

Historical trends suggest that about 200 of the provisional votes will not be valid. They also suggest that the yes/no balance of the provisional votes will be close to that of the main votes.

For the ballot to fail now, valid, provisional votes against it will have to outnumber votes for it by 205 -- possibly a little less, if a recount changes the numbers a bit. That means that the provisional voters must go against the measure by more than (small pause for math: 541-205=336. 336/2=168 168/(168+205)=45% -- which is the smallest percent of yes votes that can fail, obtained when all ballots are valid and yes loses by one vote.) 55% to 45%. It's still possible the measure will fail. However, its chances of passing look very decent at this point.

It will take a week to check the validity of the provisional ballots and return officials results. I am fairly optimistic that the measure will pass.

In fact, I'm excited! To see this grand project move ahead in my lifetime -- where I will be able to see the vertical contrails from my home -- pleases me very much. I truly look forward to our next steps.

Ooops

I forgot it was Tuesday!

Perhaps a crash was inevitable. After the rush of Ad Astra one weekend and the marathon of editing the next, I slumped into a bit of non-productivity. Drat! Things were going so well.

It wasn't just that I was getting a lot done -- although I like that a lot. I was also surprised by frequent, sudden bursts of joy. Everything felt so right with my world. Bright hopes, blissful work, great health -- I was altogether happy.

Lately, I've been dragging a bit more. Maybe the fatigue catching up with me. And also, while I was very busy I wasn't laying the foundations for my next work. So when the current push ended, I had time on my hands.

Now that I'm an entrepreneur, it continually falls to me to gather my own business. If I let that part slow, then the fun working part slows, too. And I'm still fighting new start inertia. There really is a lot to do.

Yesterday I turned in the papers for my name change. The court process takes about two months, and if there is no objection -- and New Mexico law lists no reason why there should be -- Anna Paradox will be my legal name as well as my usual identity. Filling out the papers was a strange feeling -- as if I had become indeterminate. For a little while, my name is somewhat undefined, and it was as if I, too, was undefined. How much do we confound our existence with our words about it?

All for today.

May you all name yourselves well.

Anna Paradox

Named trinkets

Hello!

Feels like I just came home from Ad Astra, and here it is Tuesday again.

I've been happy all week.

Just before I left, I received my first iPod. It's an 8G Nano Product (red), and I had copied my Holosync in uncondensed audio format to it. Having an audio meditation aid made it possible to travel through delays and arrive in reasonable condition. At some point in the trip, I looked into my purse to get the iPod and thought 'Preciouss!" The name stuck. One ring to scroll them all. Preciouss (sic) it is.

While at the con, I chose to do the neighborly thing, and attend the auction. It's for charity, after all -- in this case, to fund an award for Canadian science fiction. In a brilliant innovation that charity auctioneers everywhere might wish to emulate, three ladies in red dancing dresses presented the items. They did a fantastic job of adding extra interest to the mercenary proceedings.

Midway through the festivities, they brought a costume brooch up for sale -- a gold salamander dotted with orange crystals and with three fiery opalescent ovals following his twisting spine. The lead auctioneer promptly dubbed him "Sparkly Bob". "C'mon," she said, "surely someone can raise the bid on Sparkly Bob."

I'm proud to say I now own Sparkly Bob. I wore him on my brown jacket over a tangerine blouse, with all but his tail emerged from the left chest pocket, and I fancy he was happy there.

May you take pleasure in the gifts that come your way.

Convention Report

What a trip it was!

I prepared myself with a light travel backpack, my liquids 3-1-1'd, in case I wanted to carry it, my new iPod loaded with Holosync, Paraliminals, and music, a bit of reading material, my journal, lots of business cards, one page of talking points for each of my panels, my passport, my printed receipts from the web purchase of my airline tickets, and my hotel reservation confirmation number. Of course I chose clothing from my life coaching wardrobe, and I carried my cell phone, some pens, a notebook and some cash. Those items are my essentials.

I started well. Doug drove me to the El Paso airport, and I quickly found my ticket on the e-check kiosk. All was well. My flight from El Paso to Houston went easily and on time.

The drama started in Houston. My flight to Toronto was cancelled. The only rerouting they could find for me left Houston seven hours later for Las Vegas and then left Las Vegas three hours after that for Toronto. I would arrive at 6 am the following morning rather than 4 pm that day. Since it was due to weather, they offered not so much as a meal voucher.

Well, well, the cell phone came in handy here. I called Doug for emotional support, and he further aided me by emailing the convention programming organizer about my delay, and by getting me the hotel's phone number. I called the hotel, and they graciously agreed to roll my reservation back a day. I called my poker coach, Tommy Angelo, the better to remind myself not to tilt.

Then I had a good time exploring the terminal. I visited a couple check in agents to get the new tickets worked out, and checked my bag. I found a quiet corridor where I had the option to walk rather than take a tram for a quarter mile. I seized the opportunity to sing a Heather Alexander tune unobserved. Or maybe not, because when I next went through security, they set me aside for extra screening. I passed. I stretched, found some food, rested with the aid of Holosync, and the remaining legs of my flight happened as rescheduled. I rested some on each of them, again with Holosync. Was feeling fairly decent when I reached Toronto.

I took a taxi to the hotel, and they graciously checked me in. I was able to get a shower, a change of clothes, and breakfast before my first function. I also registered with the convention, and Alana Otis, the head of programing herself, supplied me with my badge, the con program, the pocket program, and my name on a table tent. Sweet. My badge had a white ribbon that said "Panelist" attached to it, and a schedule with locations for the panels I was on. Very nice.

My first function was the Polaris book launch. I met Julie Czerneda (cher-NAY-da), the editor of the anthology, and three of my co-authors, Emily Mah, Jane Carol Petrovich, and Sarah Niedoba. They were all friendly and articulate. Julie ran everything with energy and kindness, Emily turned out to also be from New Mexico, Jane brought her son Benjamin, and Sarah was the winner of the student contest, charmingly modest. After Julie introduced us and told how she came to gather a polar science anthology, we each spoke briefly about our stories, and then people lined up to have us sign their books. I signed for about 40 minutes, feeling amazingly thankful to be there, and to have people care.

My three official panels were Privacy vs. Security, Editing Tips and Tricks, and Terror vs. Optimism. At all three, I felt I had something useful to add. At none did I present all my prepared points, as there were other thoughtful and energetic panelists presenting theirs. I was glad I had prepared. I enjoyed being at the front of the room, felt perfectly comfortable there, and I want to do it again.

Around the panels, I talked to people. I met a lot of friendly and thoughtful fans and pros. I picked up some items from the auction, and some from dealers. I lost track of how many of my cards I had given away. While my energy held, I glowed just to be at a con. When it flagged, I went to my room and rested.

It was a very good con. The warm local fen had me feeling right at home. And there was an interesting streak of activism. We had Julie Czerneda telling us that polar science was particularly critical now, Cory Doctorow suggesting we join the EFF and reroute our web traffic, and David Stephenson tracing the materials science that will make space mining or stiff population reduction our only options if current trends continue. I can't recall a con where there was so much encouragement to act on behalf of the future. I liked that, too. It feels like time for it.

My trip home had a few complications as well. I was sorted home only two hours late, with the help of friendly and competent Continental Air employees. It was good to smell the air of the Southwest again.

I do belong at conventions like these. I want to continue to be a panelist, and continue to meet and talk with fans. I had an amazing time.

May you all find your communities.

Poised Between Past and Future

Last week, I changed the template and couldn't think of a thing to say. This week, almost too much has happened, and I'm preparing for another significant event.

On Wednesday, Doug's father Mo went back to the hospital. Lois found him groggy and confused -- much unlike him -- and called an ambulance. Her first thought, after his recent heart troubles, was stroke. As it turned out, he had a bacterial infection that flooded his system with toxins. He spent two days in ICU, had some drama over low blood pressure, followed by skyrocketing blood sugar, and at last a return to healthy homeostasis, and then they sent him home again, with both sulfa and a powerful mold-based antibiotic.

The infectious agent was an antibiotic-resistant form of staph called MRSA for methicillin-resistant staphylococcus aureus. There's a discussion of it here which is enough to worry a person. The mention of the need again to emphasize hand-washing among health care workers seemed like a throwback to the years before Pasteur.

Mo went to ICU Wednesday evening. By Thursday morning, modern medical science had a decisive edge in the battle. Lois said we needn't fly out. Last night we spoke to them, and they were tired and returning to normal.

Meanwhile, last week was also final push for one of my editing clients. Professional No-Limit Hold 'em went to the publisher last night. This one is going to make a difference in how people play no-limit hold 'em. Look for it from 2 + 2 in a couple months. 2 + 2 is a small and agile publisher, as well as holding their products to a high standard of reliability. I'm very pleased to have been part of the project.

Now I gear up for my first science fiction convention as a guest. I'm on three panels at Ad Astra in Toronto next weekend, plus the book launch for Polaris, which holds my first published sf story. I'm really looking forward to seeing the con from the other side of the table. I've done a little research and plan to do a bit more and have my thoughts lightly organized on my panel topics. This will make a relatively gradual introduction to public speaking.

If you're in Toronto this weekend, stop by the Crowne Plaza Don Valley and say hi.

Forced change of Blogger

I put it off as long as I could. I resisted every invitation to move to the new Blogger. At last, they made it mandatory this morning. And of course, despite offering to keep my template, the template is broken.

So soon I'll have to say goodbye to this format. I don't know when I'll find time to delve into the html and recreate the lovely corners I used to have. Maybe I will just switch templates. The image file for the corners may be lost.

I have been very busy. Lots of time editing, lots of time devoted to building the life coaching business. Starting to see some traction from both activities. I was very pleased to have someone contact me, interested in editing. We will see how this goes.

Also very excited to be attending Ad Astra science fiction convention in Toronto as a guest first weekend in March. Time to try the other side of the table. I am really looking forward to it.

At my training, Martha Beck asked if we had ever seen a dog work. Dogs totally love their work. They go out and exhaust themselves, bouncing and happy all the time. Long hours, and love, and then when they play or rest, they are one hundred percent present for those activities, too.

I am so glad to have work I love. A twelve hour day of creative engagement with talented people is far more satisfying and much less fatiguing than four hours of meaningless employment.

My long term plan is for a forty hour work week. I am very thankful to the worker's movement for gaining us time for a more varied life.

May your work feed your soul.
Anna

The Smart Cat

Hello, world, it's Tuesday.

Today it's raining in Las Cruces. Pumpkin intrepidly followed Doug out the door when he left for class.

A bit later, I went into my office to check some items off my to-do list. For the first time, Pumpkin was on the exterior sill of my office window. She greeted me, and made some questioning noises.

Pumpkin has a lot of control over her voice. She can say a lot of different words. And when vocalizing doesn't work, she's very expressive with the tilt of her ears and the turn of her back, too.

Anyway, I figured she wanted me to let her in out of the rain. So I went to the front door and called her.

"Row-oo-era?" she said.

"Come on, you can jump off the ledge and make it in."

"Row-row?"

"Hey, it's raining out there, and I have my slippers on. Are you going to make me get my feet wet?"

She paced back and forth on the ledge, pretending to be helpless. "Row-row?"

"Oh, alright." I walked across the yard and through the roof's drip line, and offered my arms. She came to them, and I put her on my shoulder, the way she likes.

"You're spoiled, you know."

She purred loudly, snuggling in, and licking my ear.

"OK, forgiven," I said.

Home and Home

I had a great time at Cosine last weekend. It was a small sf convention in Colorado Springs. The very gracious Connie Willis was guest of honor, and propelled a large proportion of the panels. She had much of interest to say.

Wil McCarthy was also in attendance, and reports progress on his way to Wellstone. He talked about how they have been discovering marketable advances along the way. It is a balancing act, harvesting enough to keep the process fueled and not getting distracted from the main goal.

It was good to be among fandom again. SF does feel like home. So now I'm considering again writing. Connie Willis inspires literary aims. She so clearly loves reading and writing. She likes fans, too.

I gave away a handful of cards and talked a bit about life coaching. It felt like a good warm up.

I have made my airplane and hotel reservations for the Ad Astra Convention in Toronto March 2-4. I'm going to this one alone. Doug enjoyed Cosine, and feels his real work is here during the school year. So he'll be home with the cats. And I'll be on panels for my first time, courtesy of Julie Czerneda and the Polaris launch party. I'm excited. Wow, now I'm really A Pro.

Quite the adventure, and I'm looking forward to it.

May your dreams come true.