The first sentence reads, "Antonia Bennette woke up from her after-school nap to the sound of a guitar." There's no dread or suspense here – we are not afraid of naps or guitars – so this sentence doesn't serve as that kind of hook. It's more like an origin story.
We have a name: Antonia Bennette. She'll go by Toni, later, leaving her with a name that sounds like Tony Bennett, a well-known singer. It's a name that both shows her parents were deeply into music and were a little careless of her. It's unkind to give her a name that will bring an obvious comment throughout her life.
Next, she "woke up." This is literal – she is coming out of sleep – and it could also be metaphorical. Is she having an awakening?
The last two phrases start with "from" and "to." That implies a journey – another clue that this could be a metaphorical awakening as well as a literal one.
And where is she starting? "From her after-school nap." She's young enough to be going to school and to have a nap afterwards.
Where is she going? "To the sound of a guitar." Her awakening is to music.
If I rewrote this sentence as the opening of a fairy tale, it might go like this: "One day, a girl named for a famous musician heard a sound that stirred her." Antonia Bennette is going from youth and sleep to awakening and music. She'll make guitars a core element of her life.
It's a great opening to attract readers who are interested in girls who play guitar and who they grow up to be.
Photo by Leutrim Fetahu on Unsplash
Graphic elements by Ken Silbert
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