She starts the story like this: "Once upon a time, there was a boy born with frost in his eyes and frost in his heart."
I've had a good, long day helping others solve writing problems. I'm going to indulge myself and try something a little different with today's first sentence post.
My usual practice is to see how much I can draw out of the sentence on its own. Then I may discover that a single word has so many ties to custom, nature, and literature that it pulls all the universe into my discussion of a single sentence.
On the other hand, there are sometimes sentences that I decide not to review because they don't fit the rest of the book. I usually read the entire book before I write about its first sentence here. If the first sentence sets my expectations wrongly for the rest of the book, or turns out to be of a different quality or a different tone than the rest of the book, I pass on it. After all, I like to show good first sentences, and part of what makes a good first sentence is that it opens the door to the world of the story. A misleading sentence doesn't serve that purpose.
How can I talk about the fit between a sentence and the rest of the book, when it takes me paragraphs to discuss a sentence alone? I'll need to take a broader view. It helps that The Raven and the Reindeer is inspired by Hans Christian Andersen's story, "The Snow Queen," which is somewhat well-known and in the public domain, so you can consult it if you wish.
The sentence starts with a time stamp, "Once upon a time," which puts us in mythic time. Then it gives us a character, "a boy was born," and a possible problem "with frost in his eyes and frost in his heart." That last portion has a lovely parallel construction.
What does it mean to have "frost in his eyes?" We soon discover that the boy, named Kay, has both pale eyes and eyes that see the world critically. What does it mean to have "frost in his heart?" We have a phrase, cold-hearted, that is similar. It means to have little care for others. The story reveals that this is true of Kay – and he also cherishes snow – so much so, that one day, he approaches a sorceress of snow and lets her take him away, without a thought for his family and friends.
The bulk of the story follows Gerta, the neighbor girl who is devoted to him, and how she journeys to bring him home again.
So I could talk about how the words "boy" and "heart" in the sentence suggest that we will look at first love. Does this match the story line of the book? In playful ways, it does, for Gerta pushes herself through great hazards to find Kay.
Then there's the word "frost," appearing twice. The book continues with many images of frost and snow and ice. It talks about the cold, both of the weather and the heart, and how to survive it.
"Eyes" in the first sentence begins an entire thread of visions and how people see and don't, continued throughout the story. "Heart," too, is the start of a series on what people feel or don't, and how they act on it.
"Once upon a time" promises us an enchanted world, and the story generously fulfills it with strange magics and arcane sights. There are gorgeous set pieces here, like the reindeer road and the Snow Queen's castle of ice, that are marvels that still feel an organic piece of this world.
In short, this first sentence is an excellent microcosm of the story to come. It has been a true pleasure for me to reflect on it and how well it fits with the story it opens.
Graphic elements by Ken Silbert
Photo by Raisa Milova on Unsplash