Jennifer Crusie's novel, Welcome to Temptation, was the first contemporary romance I absolutely loved. She published it in 2000 and I read it a few years later. Rereading it last year, I again admired the craft and the humor and the characters, even while noticing that quite a lot has changed since it came out.
The first sentence of Welcome to Temptation is: "Sophie Dempsey didn’t like Temptation even before the Garveys smashed into her ’86 Civic, broke her sister’s sunglasses, and confirmed all her worst suspicions about people from small towns who drove beige Cadillacs. "
It's a long sentence. Like the first sentence of Last Looks (which I blogged about on Aug. 23rd), it has a careful structure to help the meaning stay clear.
The first part of the sentence could be complete in itself: "Sophie Dempsey didn't like Temptation." That gives us a person, Sophie Dempsey; a problem – she doesn't like Temptation; and an interesting double entendre – we see "Temptation" the capitalized name, and we also hear "temptation" the invitation to do something one shouldn't. Sophie may well face two things she doesn't like.
The rest of the sentence intensifies Sophie's dislike. The words "even before" mean that whatever follows will make things worse. Then Crusie piles on the extra layers of problem: "the Garveys smashed into her '86 Civic, broke her sister's sunglasses, and confirmed all her worst suspicions about people from small towns who drove beige Cadillacs." One interesting technique here is that the problems, instead of moving from small to large instead start with the worst and grow increasingly trivial. Smashing into a car is a potentially lethal problem. Breaking sunglasses is physical damage, but to something small and easy to replace. Confirming suspicions happens entirely within Sophie's head – it is perhaps no damage at all. And what is she suspicious about? Small towns and beige Cadillacs – items which many find attractive rather than suspicious.
The sentence, instead of increasing the tension by making the situation worse and worse, reassures us – because if breaking her sister's sunglasses is the worst damage of the car accident, no one was hurt – and then becomes absurd as Sophie worries about small towns and Cadillacs. The final result is humor rather than tragedy.
The sentence does raise questions. Why does Sophie dislike Temptation? Why is she suspicious of small towns and people who drive Cadillacs? Or is it only people who drive beige Cadillacs? What will happen next? But it asks those questions with humor and curiosity rather than fear and high tension.
We also learn quite a lot about Sophie, the time, and the setting. Sophie has an old and cheap car, and a sister. Her car dates from '86, and it's a year when beige is fashionable, which narrows down the time. They are in a small town, where at least one family, the Garveys, drives a Cadillac. These details are the first elements of the story's world. They don't say everything about the time or place, but they do begin to suggest where and when the Garveys hit Sophie's car.
I appreciate the humor, the attitude, and the commas in this sentence. Since I like humor, attitude, and well-placed commas, I am entirely tempted to read on.
Graphic elements by Ken Silbert
Photo by Endri Killo on Unsplash