I also choose not to review bad first sentences by living authors without permission. The only such permission I've had so far was from myself.
In the first sentence of Aiden Thomas' book, Cemetery Boys, there's one word that I really loved. Can you guess which one? Here's the sentence: "Yadriel wasn’t technically trespassing because he’d lived in the cemetery his whole life."
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If you guessed "technically," you were right.
"Technically" is a word we use to point out a small difference from a bigger concept. Next to a legal term – in this case, "trespassing" – it means that someone has followed the law as precisely stated, but likely broken the wider understanding of the term. Technically following a law is what we mean when we say someone followed the letter but not the spirit of the law.
We have a person, Yadriel. He isn't "technically trespassing" – but we just know, by someone's reckoning, that he could still be in trouble. It's a beautiful nuance.
The word "cemetery" here is also a savory one. Cemeteries gain a little eeriness and foreboding from holding the dead. We suspect Yadriel is in trouble because of "technically trespassing," then the trouble gains a supernatural shading with "cemetery."
The final word of the sentence is "life" – a surprise when connected with "cemetery." Yadriel has "lived in the cemetery his whole life" which is strange and intriguing. Cemeteries usually hold the dead rather than the living. What is Yadriel doing there?
This sentence is a true hook, inciting tension, intrigue, and surprise in thirteen words. I like it very much.
Graphic elements by Ken Silbert