I Was Told It Would Get Easier

 

Abbi Waxman breaks a rule in her first sentence. The rule is "Don't mix metaphors," and its purpose is to make writing clearer and avoid unintentional absurdities. 

What does it mean to mix a metaphor? It's when a writer begins by describing something as one thing and ends by describing it as another. In this case, Waxman first compares her day to a bull – that is what we "take ... by the horns" and ends by comparing it to a scarf. The result is that we imagine the narrator throwing a bull over her shoulder, horns to either side of her neck, legs and torso draping down her back. 

Writers can break rules. In fact, when they want the effect that breaking the rule brings, breaking them is good writing. With careful word choices, Waxman has made her sentence clear, despite the mixed metaphor. She intended the absurdity of a bull draped over her narrator's shoulder. 

Absurdity is one form of humor. Waxman may also have meant this sentence to be funny. Notice that the central mixed metaphor is softened by phrases before and after it. Look at what happens if we trim this sentence down to the absurdity: "I took the day by the horns and threw it over my shoulder like a scarf." To me at least, that is funnier. Taste in humor varies widely. Waxman's original sentence might tickle some readers more than the condensed version. I am more likely to laugh when the sentence is briefer and ends on the word that makes the unexpected contrast. 

So what happens when we add back in the words I took out? The first phrase, "I left the house this morning, determined to..." places the action in a specific time and place: "this morning," leaving "the house." Now her action is unusual, perhaps something she has only tried once or a change from what happens in other places and other times. "Determined to" is self-conscious. The narrator is observing her own emotions. The words of this phrase are bland, diluting the vivid image of the bull-scarf to come. 

The final phrase, "if necessary," casts doubt on whether everything before it will happen. The narrator is leaving herself an out. She might not take the day by the horns. She might decide she doesn't need to. 

The final effect is one of anxiety. The narrator wants to do something bold, and she has hedged it on both sides as uncommon and unlikely. 

The self-observing, somewhat funny, somewhat anxious female narrator places this book in the company of books by Helen Fielding and Sophie Kinsella. This sentence suggests that if you like the company of women like the narrator, you will enjoy spending more time with her. Many readers can empathize with feeling a little anxious, and like to spend time with people with a sense of humor. So the sentence calls to that audience specifically. 

Graphic design by Ken Silbert