Kisses, Drama, Politics

Back when we lived in Portland, I had a romance writer as a next-door neighbor for a while. She loaned me a copy of her latest, and when we went to discuss it, she asked if I'd noticed what was missing.

No? We had a hero, a heroine, some obstacles which they overcame, and a happy ending. I didn't see what was missing.

There was no kiss, she said.

That was my first introduction to the idea that a kiss could be an important turning point.

In my usual leisurely fashion, I noted other kisses over the last two decades and let that thought germinate.

Last fall, I read Alice Archer's male/male romance Executive Decision (available free here) and something clicked. The kiss is very often the moment when a relationship moves from platonic to romantic. And the more social pressure there is against that change, the more fraught the kiss is. In our society, a kiss between men can mean crossing not only the boundary from friendship to eros, but also from socially expected (depending on the milieu) to lightly, moderately, or extremely censored.

Right now, the danger of two men showing affection in public varies. In some areas of the US, any people around you will smile – in others, gay men risk a violent response. We have made progress on accepting that love is love, and I hope we will continue to. No one should be in danger because of who they love. (And no one's desire should be forced on someone else.)

But lingering attitudes can raise the stakes on a kiss – not only a kiss between two male lovers, but for interracial loves, other LBGTQIA pairings, intercultural loves, and other categories. With the rise of supernatural romance, there are a large number of interesting possibilities.

Here's where my political desires and my writing needs diverge. I want the world to let all love be acceptable. Yet to make compelling stories, the more fraught the kiss, the better!

I also don't like a plot that feels contrived – which in this case, would be one where the kiss was made dangerous for reasons that feel forced or unbelievable.

Fortunately for telling interesting stories, we still have situations where a kiss can have high stakes. And we have historical, fantasy, and science fiction scenarios to play with. A kiss can have weight and meaning because of who the characters are, what they mean to each other, because of burdens they may bring from their past, and in many other ways.

I've gained a new perspective on what a kiss can mean, and for that, I thank my previous neighbor, the love is love activists I've known, and Alice Archer!