I have been sad recently. It's possible that Doug and I will soon have a better situation than we have ever had before. And, at the moment, we are no longer employed and no longer home owners. I feel the loss of the systems that I built about myself in my home. They let me accomplish a lot, with my tools arrayed about me, and my habits cued by my surroundings. It's been much harder for me to take on tasks. I am grieving, not just the income, and the home, but the effectiveness I had. I am grieving the competent self I was.
I notice that I feel more like writing when I am sad. The movie Inside Out suggested that the use of sadness was to inspire help. It also inspires introspection and reflection. With my old systems broken down, I'm open to new systems, willing to step out of activities, habits, even ways of thinking that I didn't question when I was in place.
Rohan Rajiv recently speculated on his great daily blog, https://alearningaday.blog/, that we can write to the world or write for ourselves. I am writing for myself here. And it feels like I may do it regularly for a while.
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